"Five of Me" describes Leslie's parents' struggle as they try to expand their family of three to a family of four (or more) through a series of drugs used to help couples become pregnant. This memoir is important to Leslie because until she was 8 years old, she didn't know the complications her parents faced trying to conceive her.
Because you weren't able to witness everything that happened first hand, you had to explain what you "thought" was going on, and I think you did this in really well. I especially liked the part where you told readers that your dad hated seeing someone put an earring in, yet he was responsible for injecting your mother with a needle, an experience that was probably really difficult for him. I also liked that you took the time to find out the exact names of the pills and treatment your mother took to help her achieve pregnancy; this made the writing very clear and prevented readers from getting the different medications confused with one another. In addition, you did a good job of explaining your parents desperation for another child, showing they would go to as many lengths as possible to achieve their dream. I liked that you included the price of In Vitro fertilization in the story too, because I didn't realize how expensive the procedure was, and if you hadn't included it I would have wondered why your parents didn't try that option.
As for revisions, I would like to see a little more of your brother in the story: did he want a sibling? how did he feel when he found out your parents were expecting? Also I would like to see how your parents felt once they found out they were pregnant: did your mom take extra precautions during her pregnancy because she was afraid she might lose you? was your dad overprotective of you once you were born? Just getting more an idea of their emotions once they found out would be a good addition to the story. I guess what I'm basically trying to say is expand the ending a little more.
Overall, great job though! :)
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