On a Boulder, In a Cloud is a memoir about Carson's experience after an over-night camping trip. He and his friends decide to check out the area around their campsite after they've packed up from the night before. What ensues is Carson finding peace within himself as he faces nature in its rawest form.
I really liked your piece a lot. I felt like you painted each scene delicately so that even those who had never been camping before could envision everything that was going on. As someone who has been to sketchy campsites before, I applaud your description of the deserted bathrooms and the area lit only from the LCD lighting of the drink machines. You were able to perfectly capture the creepiness those things have to offer in a deserted area. I'm sure someone will comment that you need dialogue, but I think your story works better without; to include conversation would almost break us out of the trance you've put us in with the vivid description of nature.
As for improvements, I can't seem to think of anything really. Maybe you could expand the ending to let us know if the feeling you felt on the boulder carried with you as you and your friends continued on your journey. I'm a little confused as to how y'all all ended up together though; did y'all just meet Billy at part of the trail? Perhaps a little bit more of a backstory regarding y'alls trip might strengthen the characters in the story.
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