Saturday, February 8, 2014

Response to Jenni Roy

"The Storm" describes a couple (or maybe it's just one person?) that goes on a boat ride. Unfortunately, as soon as they are out of site of the shore, a storm begins to brew. The author uses alliteration in several places effectively. For example "blanket of blackness", "thunder thumps" and "burly beast" are all alliterative, yet it is appropriate for the poem and it doesn't come off as the author trying too hard to include a literary device. I like how the title is straight to the point.

The first thing I would change about this poem is the line breaks in the third stanza. The lines are really long compared to the rest of the stanzas, and just at first glance that stanza looks really out of place with the rest of the poem. In addition, the second stanza confused me. Who is the "you" the author is talking about..? After reading the poem through the first time I thought maybe the second stanza was referring to the sun, since the last stanza talks about the sun betraying trust. That almost made sense until I realized the sun doesn't have "emerald eyes." I really think that stanza could be replaced to describe maybe a shift in mood from the first stanza, which would allow the storm to be introduced in a more gradual way. Currently it seems the third stanza is trying to introduce the storm and explain its fury, so giving the second stanza the introduction would allow the third stanza to be more powerful in its content.

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